17 weeks 4 days

I realized it had been a while since I posted anything, so I decided to write again.

Justin may have found a job at Wendy's for now, which would still allow him to keep his unemployment while he worked. I am hoping that him working will help with the bills that contiue to pop up. We recently got a (future) bill for what the delivery will cost. I am happy with how little it is, however, I wish I were able to be double insured and not have to pay anything. but such is life.

Our neighbors gave us the extra changing table that they had, it is in good condition and the best part, it was FREE! :) We have started buying diapers, so far we have only bought one box. You gotta start somewhere right? ;-)

I think that I feel little movements here and there, but it is not often enough nor am I able to tell for sure if it the baby, or just indegestion or something else.

Wish us luck that in a week from today, at my next appointment we are able to find out what the sex of the baby is!!!

We also have had a hard time these last few weeks as we had some of our roommates move out and the girl that is living in the basement refuses to pay anymore even though we weren't able to find someone else to move in to cover the other part of rent. As usual though, Justin tells me not to worry because we always find a way to make things work. I wish I were able to not stress so badly though. It is so so so much easier said than done.

But alas, I listen to the recording of our little one's heart beat and it makes everything all better, for the moment at least. I have most definitely gotten addicted to watching too much television. I need some motivation to get me back in the gym, even if it is just swimming and/or walking on the treadmill, at least it will help when I give birth. Any Ideas?? I was told at WIC a few weeks ago that I have already gained a little bit too much weight for the pregnancy... which is exactly what you want to hear right? lol so now I'm worried that I am going to end up gaining too much weight, get pregnancy diabetes and/or not be able to lose the weight after the baby is born.

13 Weeks 4 days

On Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011, I had my second Prenatal Appointment. I like to get places early, so we got to Jordan Valley Hospital at the Women's center at about 930, waited a few minutes before walking in and ended up getting to the doctors office at 945. My appointment was scheduled to be at 10. I checked in and we sat down, the office was unusually busy, I just figured it was because of the other OB's that work there too that it was so busy, but we waited, and waited... We heard one of the other ladies sitting there talking on the phone say that her appointment was supposed to be an hour ago. Sure enough 11 O'Clock rolled around and that's when we got called back. They weighed me, I gained about 5ish pounds in the first trimester, although because my clothes hardly fit anymore, it feels like more. We sat in the room and waited for my doctor. She came in, measured my belly, (which she said was growing right on track) and then she grabbed the doppler to listen to the heart.

Hearing my little peanut's heartbeat for the first time was SOO amazing, I cannot even begin to tell you how happy it made me. The heart was beating at 159 beats/minute where it should be. :) Justin and I both were a bit emotional about it, even though he won't admit it. I can't wait until I can feel the baby moving. Hopefully that is within the next few weeks. We have an appointment in 5 weeks, then the appointment after that one, we should be able to find out the sex of the baby!!!! (Justin is making me wait because he doesn't want to spend the extra money if we don't have to. lol) I guess it's ok, where it's only a couple of months out.

We are getting more and more excited as time passes. I need to go clothes shopping but, maternity clothes are so expensive, I guess that is what one of my goals will be today and this weekend, to go shopping for cute maternity clothes that aren't super super expensive. :) Oh how I can't wait until August/September, I am getting so excited about the fact that I will be able to hold my precious little one.

If someone were to have told me that by the time I was 22 I would have a child, I wouldn't have believed them. Oh how I love how things turn out sometimes.

Until next time.

New Years Day/A New Journey

Justin and I didn't do anything special for our New Years Eve this year, Justin has been sick lately and he managed to get me sick too. So him and I just stayed home and watched movies, watched the Ball in Times Square drop and then pretty much went to bed.

The next morning I wake up to find that I still hadn't gotten my lovely gift from Aunt Flow...It was over a week late. I had taken a pregnacy test earlier that week and it had said Negative, so I was starting to worry about what could be causing me to not get it. I decided to take another Pregnancy Test just to make sure. Sure enough.... that Blue plus sign was there. It was a little faint, but it was definitely there. I was in shock. I didn't know what to think. I think Justin is still in shock today, but it a little less in shock than he was a few days ago. We wanted to make sure, so we went to Jordan Valley Hospital to have a Blood Test done. A half hour later I called to get the results. Another POSITIVE!!

Justin had already let it leak out onto Facebook, so I decided what was the point of holding back. I posted it on Facebook, After I had let my parents know. Justin was unsure of letting his parents know. He thought they were going to dis-own him or something. I wondered why he thought this as we have been together for nearly five years, and married almost six months.

I finally told him he NEEDED to tell them before they found out from someone else. How upset would they be then? I know that if it were me, and I found out from a friend that had read it on Facebook, and not from my own child I would have been pretty hurt. Well, his parents didn't dis-own him, just said, " I guess you better get a job."

.....Which is another thing I am crossing my fingers for, I am hoping that Justin gets called back to elevators soon. It would help our situation in SO many ways! Keep your fingers crossed with me! ;-)

Onto another subject....What do you think the baby will be? Boy or Girl?

Anxiety

I can feel it rising...and there isn't anything I can do right now to stop it. It would help if one of our "Roommates" would take care of his responsibilities and pay his share of rent, do his dirty dishes, help to try and keep the power bill down and /or help pay it. It's not fair for Justin and I to be paying for EVERYTHING. We have our own bills. This person hasn't had a job for 4 months now. Isn't looking for one either, and just doesn't care. We've had to start asking for help with food, because without that help, we wouldn't have food to eat. Next month is going to be worse, Justin's unemployment got cut and that is not helping us at all right now. I'm wondering if it's going to come down to us having to pack up and move....Again....Not what I want. I just want this one person to pay the money they owe, including the 105 dollars in late fees that hac accrued, because of this person, and I want them to leave, be gone and out of mine, my Husband's and my sister's lives forever! All this person has done is cause Drama, with a capital D, hurt and stress! Nothing good has come from this person living with us. We have cut our spending, we haven't gone out to eat or out in general in I don't know how long, we don't drive if we don't have to, we're getting rid of HBO and Showtime, since we have movies we can watch...I guess... all of our money goes to paying bills. Not to mention, Justin has court coming up about his DUI on Tuesday. I'm hoping they drop the charges and give us our $700 dollars back! It's BS that the Justice System will let things like that happen! If they don't drop the charges we are going to fight it and end up having to pay $2000 for a lawyer... I have to tell myself, somehow I guess it could be worse, but right now, I don't know how. I am praying and crossing my fingers that Justin gets called back to work Elevators very very soon. That would be the only thing that could save us right now.. I cry nearly everyday lately because of this crap in our lives. We're 21 and 23, why are we being subjected to this?? Why is a 32 year old man living off his Niece and her Husband??! I know one day he will get it coming back to him, but that day can't come soon enough! I also would like to just say how much I love my Husband. He rubbed my back last night until I had calmed down enough to fall alseep. He is my Love, My Husband, My Best Friend, My Everything! I don't know what I would do without him.

Feeling the Stress

I'm trying to get us back on track money wise, however, it's not easy where Justin has been laid off since July. I don't make enough to pay all of the bills, put gas in the cars, AND put food on the table... Justin is getting unemployement, but it isn't helping enough. To top it all off, the Credit Union that Justin's car loan is through, only took our payment down 63 dollars when we asked to be put on a Hardship program. I don't know how to deal with this stress that just keeps building up. I'm having such a hard time right now. I make a considerable hourly wage, which I absolutely LOVE my job, but we have never really been able to catch up on bills since Justin has been laid off periodically within the last 3 years. We haven't been able to have a Christmas for the last 3 years because, Justin has been laid off all 3 Christmases. I make too much for us to be able to get food stamps by like 50 bucks. Can you please tell me how sooo many other people that aren't Americans, are able to live off of the government and yet, us Americans can't get help hardly anywhere??! I am excited to go on our Honeymoon in a little over a week, but we won't have extra money to do anything except stay at the hotel and lay on the beach. I guess it is good enough to just get away from everything, and relax, but Reality will still be waiting for us when we get back. Which does nothing to help my stress level that is continually rising. I feel like Justin and I are so taken advantage of at home because he may not be working, but has always been right on top of unemployment if he knew it was close for him to be laid off, there are others that are supposed to be paying rent and we have to pick up their slack just to keep a roof over our heads, let alone pay for their toilet paper and food, as well as the water they use and the electricity they use. Tell me, am I wrong for feeling so much more grown up and responsible than these other people?? I almost can't wait unti our lease is up so that Justin and I can go get a place all to ourselves again and not feel the NEED to depend on other people in order for bills to be paid on time. These other people complain like they are having to shell out so much cash for having a roof over their heads and food to eat, when Justin and I have taken on a lot more money coming out of our pocket since our previous roommates left. It's really starting to get to me and irritate me. I have horrible headaches because of stressing so bad (that only said because I know it's not from being dehydrated because I have been making sure I drink TONS of water lately.) What is your opinions? Please, any advice is greatly welcomed!!

Just Married(Preview)

My name is Sharistan, I am 21 years old, and I just married my best friend and man of my dreams, Justin, on July 15th! We are trying the best we can to make a good life together. We have lived with each other for a majority of our relationship, nearly 4 and a half years, so marriage doesn't seem any different to us. Justin is an apprentice for the union elevator companies. When he's working, we live a comfortable lifestyle. He has been laid off the last 3 Christmases in a row... and was laid off a week after our wedding. I have consistantly had a job (or two). I work at Western Governors University currently and LOVE it!! Once we get a few of our bills paid off, I will continue my education with Salt Lake Community College for an Associates Degree in Criminal Justice. I then want to get my Bachelors in Accounting from my work. We have been through some pretty rough times, this time is by far the worst though. However, I think of it as, we can only go up from here, things will not get worse. :)  We are excited though to go on our Honeymoon (Finally...) in October, to Cancun for one week. Paradise can't come fast enough! Well, that's about all I can think of for now...but this was only a preview of our life together. Hope you enjoy!